Blog/Foredrag/Workshop

stalking

Voluntariness – one conversation at a time

The civil society is the volunteer nonprofit sector – a direct consequence of the danish constitution midt 1800 in Denmark. The civil community reflects how the relation between the individual, society and the state should be. A strong civil society is essential for a well-functioning democracy.

Here the economic control has no influence

Opposite to the State the civil society lies outside of the formal economy and the political system – outside of the states control – here the economic control has no influence, it is the common population that is a participant in the political life, opposite to the state and marked.

Frivillig Danner

The civil society are communities where you have to be polite – with other words “the polite society”.

Social volunteer work is, amongst others, to solve welfare problems

The social volunteer work are actions, which purpose is to give individuals or groups an increased welfare or care – or actions who aim after to solve welfare problems.

Volunteer work is something you do with others and which is beneficial for others besides yourself and your family, without getting payed for it or expectation of reward and when it’s organized with rules and framework for the activities – which states that regular helpfulness is not volunteer work.

Would you go to work tomorrow if you didn’t get a paycheck?

39% of the danish population is a part of the civil society.

Would you go to work tomorrow if you didn’t get a paycheck? Most people would answered with a very define and resounding “no”.

At the volunteer workplace, this is just what people are doing. My heart and my soul wants to be there and make a difference. The time and effort spent there is more valuable than any amount of money ever will be. To do something where the work is the pay in itself, adds purpose to my life. It increases my self worth and my self confidence, it, plain and simple, makes me a better person, also towards myself.

It was without hesitation and consideration when I started to do volunteer work

When I experienced the tremendous difference volunteer work in the civil community had on my life – it was without any hesitation or consideration that I took a leap of faith and started as a volunteer myself – besides the work, my network is increased with many different people and new competences.

Besides my book, the volunteer work is the best that has come out of my handling of the stalking I was exposed to.

Frivillig DSC

A friend told me once, that maybe I should thank the stalker for the following progress I went through, to that my answer has to be “no, I need to thank myself for my handling of the consequences caused by the stalkingen”.

Love and respect yourself

It downed on me how important it is to love and respect yourself and how important it is to know your own limits and life values. That it actually is a good thing if somebody dislikes you or even hates you. Haitrat from others means that you are standing up for yourself and your limits, so it’s a good thing, because people will hate or respect you and maybe even admire you for not letting others walk all over your boundaries.

There I meet empati, sympati and charity at its finest and ego is non-existing

In the volunteer work I meet people who are there because they want to be there. It is exciting, ressource strong, interesting and open people who I meet at the volunteer workplaces, especially in the social volunteer work, which is about helping other people in need, that is the most giving for me. There I meet empati, sympati og charity at it’s best and ego is non-existing.

Frivillig TEDx.JPG

I have been a volunteer at the Danish Stalking Center and TEDxFrederiksberg, and I am currently a volunteer at the women’s shelter Danner and the human library. For the op coming period I am honored to have been chosen to be a voluntary lay judge.

When I first met the civil society

I will never forget that evening, when I for the first time had to make use of a voluntary offer – I called the volunteer telephone counseling at the Danish Stalking Center. Never before had I been in such psychological pressure, that I was driven to the point, where I had to contact a voluntary organisation and ask for help – nothing else had helped, neither my entourage or the police had been able to help me.

My volunteer work at TEDxFrederiksberg was for me to get new skills and next to that increased network, although first and foremost to get to know a very admirable concept from the inside, so therefor it was not so much about helping people, which I love the most.

The women’s shelter Danner has a special place in my heart, as it being a place where women and children who are victims of domestic violence, a place where they get all the help they need to move forward from the violent relationship. I can relate to these people, since it was a violent relationship with the stalker I escaped. I was lucky, to discover that so early in the relationship.

The human library gives me increased tolerance and less prejudices

At the human library I get the opportunity to talk to many people and increase the worlds knowledge to stalking. I also meet other human books and become wiser and enriched by a new story with every meeting, this gives me increased tolerance and less prejudices, one conversation at a time.

MB1

As a volunteer I receive a lot from the cooperation, other than competences and netvork. I get access to relevant courses, which are quite expensive and I get invited to different events where for example food and transport is covered.

I can highly recommend volunteer work for everybody, because it gives you competences, network, lifequallety and so much more.

stalking

NYHEDSBREV

Jeg var offer for stalking.

Jeg oplevede at jo mere jeg talte om mine oplevelser, jo bedre fik jeg det.

Derfor valgte jeg at stå frem med min historie. Men først var det vigtigt for mig, at vende denne forfærdelige stalking til noget positivt. Så jeg måtte flytte mig fra udsatterollen/offerrollen over på rådgiverrollen og jeg måtte studere alle rollerne inklusiv stalkerens rolle.

BOGEN:  #STOP STALKING – Sådan håndterer du en stalker

Derfor valgte jeg at skrive en bog om forløbet, en selvbiografi, hvor jeg deler ud af mine oplevelser og de erfaringer jeg gjorde mig.

Bogen kan bl.a. købes her http://www.forfatterskabet.dk/produkt/stop-stalking/ eller kontakt mig www.eydisdali.com – kontakt

VM i foredrag – ValbyMesterskabene 2018

Ja, jeg blev sørme semifinalist til VM i foredrag, hvem skulle have troet det…

Jeg vil mere end at skrive om stalking og arbejde som frivillig rådgiver hos Dansk Stalking Center. Jeg vil også ud at holde foredrag om stalking. Derfor stillede jeg op til audition til VM i foredrag – ValbyMesterskabene 2018 den 31. maj 2018.

Se min audition her: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yf8Ny7J2c3M lyden er bedst på en mobil telefon.

Dette sagde dommerne om min præsentation – helt vildt, tror aldrig jeg har hørt så flotte ord før:

Intenst, man bliver grebet med det samme. Man kan fra start af høre at det er en personlig beretning, at det er meget tæt på dig, og det virker og du har en ro. Jeg blev så optaget af det, at jeg glemte at tage noter, det må være et godt tegn.

Skøn rejse Eydis, man bliver zoomet ind i din fortælling med det samme og din faktaboks og opbygning fungerer helt fantastisk. Først faktaboks og så en præsentation af dig selv, “power-pose” “Fri” og dramatiske pauser. God til at lege “kispus” med pauserne som viser stort overskud som foredragsholder.

Tusind tak, der var nogle rigtig gode pauser, som byggede op og skabte spænding, meget fint. Tag dig bare god tid i begyndelsen, du snublede lidt ind i det. Din opbygning med faktaboks først gør at det ikke bliver privat, det er personligt, men ikke privat. Fint balanceret. Tak.

Jeg glæder mig til 1. semifinal den 27. september 2018 i Timotheuskirken kl. 19:00

stalking

Foredrag: #stopstalking – Sådan håndterer du en stalker

Stalking er et stigende samfundsproblem – over 100.000 almindelige danskere bliver hvert år udsat for stalking, herudover bliver pårørende som børn og familie sekundære ofre for stalking.

I et stalkingforløb bliver der i gennemsnit involveret 21 andre mennesker. De vil alle have hver deres forskellige oplevelse af stalkingen. Nogle af dem vil mene, at det er ganske forfærdeligt og sindssygt, andre vil mene, at det ikke er så slemt og syntes at den udsatte måske bare burde komme over det, og enkelte vil opfatte stalkingen som smigrende og romantisk.

37% af alle de stalking udsatte er mænd og 63% er kvinder. 1% af alle stalkingudsatte er kendte mennesker og 99% er ganske almindelige mennesker.

Den som fylder mest i statistikken over stalkingudsatte, er en kvinde. Hun er sidst i 30´erne, hun har haft en kort intim relation til stalkeren inden stalkingen. Hun er gennemsnitlig veluddannet og gennemsnitlig velfungerende. Stalkingforløbets varighed er i gennemsnittet 2 år.

Jeg er en af disse kvinder – jeg var 40 år gammel, jeg havde taget en mellemlang uddannelse og havde, mig bekendt, ingen dårlige relationer. Stalkeren og jeg datede ret intents i en periode af omkring 3 måneder og det efterfølgende stalkingforløbet varede i 18 måneder.

Hvad er stalking? Hvad er det for et menneske som stalker? Hvem kan blive udsat for stalking? Hvad sker der indeni en stalkingudsat person? Hvad kan man gøre og hvor er der hjælp at hente?

Disse spørgsmål vil jeg gennemgå og besvare i mit foredrag #stopstalking – Sådan håndterer du en stalker

Mit foredrag er primært målrettet stalkingudsatte og deres pårørende. Det er også meget relevant for alle som arbejder med mennesker, især ledere.

Book mig til dit næste arrangement og bliv klogere på fænomenet stalking.

Ikke kategoriseret

Serie stalker…

Ligesom jeg var blevet færdig med min første bog og afleveret den til redaktøren hos forlaget, blev jeg inviteret til en fest. Jeg ville gerne deltage i denne fest, men samtidig var jeg meget i tvivl pga. stalkingen. Nogle af gæsterne kendte nemlig stalkeren, men ikke til stalkerens psykopatiske side og hans grænsepsykotiske adfærd. Jeg fik at vide at stalkeren ikke skulle deltage i festen.

Der var omkring fjorten skønne, interessante og spændende mennesker. Der var forfattere, foredragsholdere og selvstændige.  Jeg kom i snak med en mand og det var en rigtig spændende samtale vi havde. Han fortalte om sin uddannelse som psykoterapeut og jeg fortalte om mig og selvfølgelig om min stalking historie, som jeg altid gør når muligheden byder sig. Han var ret interesseret i den historie og vi havde en rigtig god dialog. Vi tog videre til en anden fest hvor der var omkring tohundrede mennesker. Der blev danset og hygget.

Dagen efter får jeg en besked fra psykoterapeuten. Han skrev at han ikke havde sovet hele natten, da hans eks. kæreste havde oplevet noget lignede min stalking historie. Han frygtede at det måske kunne være den samme stalker. Han skrev sit telefonnummer i beskeden og bad mig ringe til ham. Jeg svarede, at det var jeg ked af at høre – at hans eks. kæreste skulle have oplevet noget så forfærdeligt – og at jeg ville ringe senere. Han skrev igen om jeg havde mulighed for at ringe med det samme, det gjorde jeg...